Monday, October 29, 2012

Fragmented Memories

This morning I am supposed to be driving to a city for an appointment, but the weather is bad and snowy and the roads are too. I really want to get going but I'm trying to be wise...and I also should be shovelling the deck at the moment...but I just have something to say, Oh Vast Readership (I appreciate you!!)

It seems my long-term memory is quite terrible. Now this is ok, unless your husband is reminiscing about this crazy and wonderful date you were on, and you are nodding and smiling and trying desperately to access a thread of information back in your concrete brain. Or, if you are reading something and laughing and thinking Wow, this is great! And suddenly realize you read it before and even left a comment. But there is not even a tweak of recognition! I would imagine senility is setting in, except that this has been going on since my late or even mid-20's.

The more relaxed I am, the less stressful state I'm in, the more I seem to remember about my childhood. Or at night there will be a flash of memory about some event that was extremely significant but that I had long thought erased. Lately when I'm talking to friends a memory will suddenly surface and I'll remember in great detail once I start sharing the story.
Like the story of Greg, who lived above me in the house in a certain city across from a church. Was it 269th? 265? 239th street? That detail has escaped.
And so did I, eventually and miraculously from Greg who had just got out of maximum security, solitary confinement for 5 straight years after sexually assaulting and leaving for dead a 19 year old girl. I was 21. Thanks to God's intervention of a good friend who figured out who Greg was, his face wasn't my last memory.
And I'm thankful for that. 


Honestly a lot of the memories that come back are painful or scary :(   
Perhaps my concrete brain is wise, after all.



  1. Re: your poems and everything else....Pam your writing is awesome!! How about you teach an online writing course and I will be your first student....

    1. I think you could teach me a thing or two. :) Thanks, though!


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