The Life That Now Is

The Path to True Calling

Hello again. 

I've had a stressful time lately, and that makes it hard to write. Just being a parent, and trying to cope with this covid situation like everyone else, and wondering about school and work and really wanting to go somewhere and do something but feeling stuck, every hour a new toxic news story that I try to shut out but I realize therein lies that sly beast, cowardice. 

I'm painting again, in the summer, as usual...another house, another "freshening up", another series of trips to the hardware store, washing brushes in the evening, scrubbing drops of stray paint off the floor. Colour chips everywhere as I struggle to choose, holding them up to the light again and again. It has taken me longer to get some areas painted in this house, because I just don't seem to care as much about it, honestly. It was supposed to be a short stop, a few years, a new dream. And things haven't gone as planned, as so much in life goes, but yet - here we are. There are good people around, friends, neighbors, church family, and beautiful fields of wheat and canola, wide open skies overhead. 

What's not to love?

About Dreams

What I have had on my heart to write the past month is this idea of doing what we are meant to do, and how many distractions keep us away from the very paths our heart and soul are designed to walk down. 

What is it that you could be doing, that could greatly help others around you?

What do people in your life hope you will do?

Why are you not doing it?

Those who have read other posts on this blog will recall that I often refer to Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress, and yes, again that amazing book comes to mind. 

How many times were Christian and his companions tempted to veer off the path? Either into a sleepy meadow to be captured by a Giant, or over a wall to take a shortcut, or to become enamored by the sparkling city of Vanity Fair. 

But they were heading for the Celestial City, and eternal life. Greater things were ahead than any they were leaving behind. 

We do good things, but not essential things. 

I am personally in a time of having to say "yes" and "no" fairly often. I LOVE saying yes. 

Saying NO is horrible and only very selfish and terrible people do it. 

Unfortunately much of my self-worth over the years has come from doing, and not just any little doing, but as much as possible. 

Did you know, reader, that there is a coveted prize for He or She Who Works the Hardest? There is one for He or She Who Works the Longest, as well. No one has ever seen these awards (granted) but nevertheless we strive on in hope. The only way to qualify however is to get up exceptionally early, or at least earlier than everyone else, and to continue working until it is impossible to work anymore because it is practically midnight. The only way anyone can really know how hard one is working is if you constantly discuss it. Slip it into any average conversation. There are bonus points if you have barely eaten all day. If someone had an emergency and you helped them out, be sure to let your left hand AND your right hand be in communication, or this may fall through the cracks, and never be noticed at all. 

Now I may be slightly dripping with sarcasm here, just a tad, but this idea of work for the sake of being very busy is indeed a valid problem. 

Not because work is bad, but because it slowly veers us off the path we were meant to travel. 

Many Tasks Make Light Work

The ability to work hard is valuable. 

Too many tasks, however, keep us busy and burdened so we cannot see the one thing that would make a world of difference. 

For me, I'm starting to think that one thing is worship. I know I am called to this, singing and leading songs of praise to God, running forward into His presence. Holding the banner of worship high as the battle rages on. I'm not the best at it, but I know there is a calling on my life in that direction. 

One reason I know is that worship is so hard. There is constant pressure to conform, to get lost in legalities and details, to keep it safe and tame. Worship is a lion, but we try oh-so-carefully to keep it as a pet, a small and unobtrusive housecat curled up in sleepy comfort. 

We want to sing the old songs, again and again. We want to sit, and stand, and be told what to do. We want, Church, to feel good when we worship. To feel safe, to have comfort and security. REAL worship is dangerous. But I digress. 

There are so many other tasks that I can do that are much easier than planning, organizing, practicing and leading worship. I get lost in these tasks sometimes, or my own agenda. Even exercise and "self-care" can be a distraction. How important is it that we spend hours and hours taking care of our health? I mean it is quite important, yes, but earth-shatteringly significant - I don't know.  

Sometimes I look around at the young people, the teenagers with nothing to do, and wonder where are the leaders. Where are the mentors, where are the people that could speak into their lives. Why are there so few David Wilkersons and Loren Cunninghams? 

There seems to be no one willing or able. 

No time to take a risk. 

Not my problem, we think. Until it is our own kid. Then, oh how we wish someone would try. 

My friend, I guarantee someone's life will change because you and I dusted off God's vision for our future. 

Daily Life is Relentless

We are only given a small amount of time, just 24 hours. In that span we have to go to our jobs, eat, sleep, check Facebook (ugh), keep our children alive, volunteer, plan events, respond to endless emails, feed our useless pets, attempt to keep a couple of friends and try not to get fat. That last one is generally the hardest!

So that's enough, right? More than enough, really. 

Is there room for one burning hope?  What about a dream? A fire in one's bones that cannot be put out? That one thing you know you are called to do? 

We often put our most sacred callings and dreams on the back burner and wait for a better time. A more free time. 

"After I'm married."

"Once the kids are a little older."

"When we have our own house."

"Once this job is done."

"When the kids have graduated."

"After we retire."

Guess what? Your calling is rotting on the back burner. 

That person you could have talked to, that friend that was in pain, that young person that needed help - they are gone now. They moved on, and whatever happened, happened.  

Work Your Life Around the Main Thing

I don't know how to do this, but I do realize now that there is no other way. 

The Calling has to come first, and life must give way to it, wrap around it. The tidal waves of living that are common to us all will sweep everything under the sand and soon, we forget. There is only a nagging feeling that there was something, once, that we meant to do. 

We glance at the proverbial back burner but can't remember what we put back there. 

Think about what it is you are often asked to do by others. Sometimes, that is a clue. Or what are you most proud of from the last 5 years of your life. There are clues everywhere, and often other people know, even if we don't. So ask someone you trust, and listen with all ears open. 

There may be a different life calling to you on the wind, just a faint sound of whatever it was you are leaving behind. Listen while there is still time, and realize that everything else you are doing, all the busyness, will never be caught up. Let the busy try to catch up to you instead, as you run toward the adventure of your life. 

"...having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come."

I Timothy 4:8b