BIRTHDAY!

Hello again....been awhile.

This taking a break from teaching has its pitfalls, which I knew. Ths structure is missing.
For someone whose self-worth is really tied to what she does during the day, it's a hard thing!

How do I get things done that need doing? Now that the contractors are gone and the basement is in the final stages (I'm finishing it) the house is quiet. I do love it. But feel so guilty sometimes, and the time goes fast....pretty soon I'm back at the school picking up the kids and thinking "Wow, what did I accomplish today?" Because the homework, supper, nightly activities hamster wheel starts going again, so I better have something to show for my day!

Today is my birthday, December 6. That date will always have a glow about it. No matter how many boring or disappointing birthdays go by, I'm still enchanted by December the 6th. Yay!

I have needed to be still for awhile,

to wait beside the window.

Takes time for the spinning to stop

after the ferris wheel.

The snow will gently fall,

and if I stay here,

it will cover me and I will disappear.

So I watch through my window

with a beating heart

too restless to rest -

       too impatient to start.



Apathy and expectancy

take turns looking through

as children playing peek-a-boo,

but I hide from you.



or horses at the starting gate

I paw and twitch and twist my fate.

To know what I need,

To need what I want,

to want what I have.

To jump off the train and have it stop for you.

The trouble with windows is they keep out the noise,

and the air.

And you only see what you can see from there.



So happy birthday to me. May I find the peace I need this year, and be able to stop and enjoy the moments as they slip quietly away. May I learn to measure my days in love and trust, in hugs and smiles.