Friday, September 6, 2013

Life I Love You, All is Groovy

Simon and Garfunkel live is wafting beautifully through my speakers and the poignancy is a physical ache, of memory, and my eyes keep senselessly watering. I wipe tears away and more come down.
I finally bought the album on iTunes as I haven't been able to find mine for years. By years...I mean I started listening to the tape when I was 14 in my blue bedroom downstairs, and bought the cd sometime in my early 20's.
So I think it's the lost years coming up at me out of the mist that are causing emotion.

Shadowy former self, smiling and remembering me to one who lives there. She once was a true love of mine.
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 My summer break from blogging was not intentional; simply enforced by no time, especially time alone. If you can write while someone is saying, "Mom. Mom. Mom.....MOM!!" every two minutes, more power to ya. Bless their sweet young souls.

In short, my year "off" from teaching has led into another year of not teaching, well, school anyway. The year had good places and rough places, and mostly I realized just how terribly tired and sick to death of everything I was. And that it takes a long time to get over that -- and you can't regulate it.
So this year I am gearing up to teach piano and voice lessons, which I have sure had a lot of myself, and have taught before, and though it's a lot of work, I am the boss of myself.

Today is Friday, after a long weekend of trying to go camping with varying levels of success...or no success if you count that both kids were sick, Dylan had to work one of the days, we had one evening together as a family, the batteries would not work so we were cold and in the dark, and I had to leave early with one of the kids and spend 3 straight hours in Hinton Emergency with no chair in the room. THAT SAID, it was a wonderful time, peaceful, with mountains all around and the smell of the camping trailer (which I adore). Also I was giddy with the sense that no one could find me there. HA hahaahahahaha!! That is the BEST feeling ever, for me. I was seriously giggling uncontrollably for awhile the first night, so happy to be free.

Everything worked out, kids are getting better, the first school week drawing to a close. Yesterday I had so much to do I was working from 7 am to 11:30 pm and dropped exhausted into bed. And five minutes later I was out on the couch playing Plants vs Zombies, because that game is addictive and should be banned in all states and provinces. :-/

This year will be much busier, as I have at least 20 students coming to my home or me driving to theirs. That will be good, because I need structure or I'll be wandering in a music, writing and reading haze without a clue, speaking to trees and butterflies and catching snowflakes on my tongue for long unknown stretches of time.

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When I listen to Simon and Garfunkel the world sometimes seems too full, and life too long. The faces of people I've known and memories spin away and I'm left wondering why, why do we feel so much and lose so much? Why are longing and loneliness constant companions............
Sail on, silver girl, sail on by,
 your time has come to shine, all your dreams are on their way.
 See how they shine!
 Ohh if you need a friend, I'm sailing right behind.
 Like a bridge over troubled water I will ease your mind. 
When I listen to Simon and Garfunkel, the world sometimes seems so small, and life too short. The people I love and the memories of their kindness leave me wondering and breathless with the sweetness of the lives we share. And poetry and music are friends that draw colors on all the world.

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