Sunday, May 18, 2014

So. We're Moving...Yep.

WELLLLLLL!!! What have we here!!!?? AN ACTUAL blog post from Pamela?!?

Will Wonders Never Cease. Shock and of course Awe.

               ... Ok, now that I've got the self-deprecating sarcasm out of the way (expected), WHAT has been going ON??

First, I wanted to finish the little series on personalities. I really liked that thing and it is so badly unfinished. Sad face. :(
I wanted to explore the different personality combos (Phlegmatic/Choleric/Psychedelic), <---not a="" personality="" real="">  look at a few famous people and how their personality affected (or didn't affect) their life stories, talk about how opposite temperaments attract each other, and finally..... discuss how it's all really crap and we are all unique, special, unclassifiable, amazing individuals!!Personality Ptooie! Oh and also I was going to ask readers to guess what personality blend I am. Maybe another time. (or you can guess now, that would be fine too!)

I really do think the grains of truth in personality study are worth looking at. It can help open up people to understanding and appreciating others, especially significant others or those who drive you up the wall, or the case may be. But there is a limit to it, so as a wise man once said, "Know your limit, stay within it!" :)
Actually I think that has something to do with gambling or drinking responsibly. 
Anyway, it applies here, too.

Second, life has been really busy and really confusing. There has been some big stuff come down the pipe, and I've been trying to unload and sort through it and get it off my chest or back or whatever. 'Nuff said.
What's the big stuff?? Well there have been a few issues of my own (dot dot dot) but REALLY, it's all about Dylan, this guy I live with, and his (our) decision to go to Bible college next year.

*       *      * 
I grant you three asterisks of time to download that information. It may not be enough time, but it will have to suffice.

So it was tough to write a blog on Other Stuff and pretend that the Big Stuff wasn't happening and taking up all of my brain-space.

Now this decision is not random or out of the blue, though it may appear so, because he (Dylan) has been thinking of this for ...oh...the entire length of time I've known him. And now, after years of thinking and wondering and shoving it all back on the back burner, this year it became a Decision That Had to be Made. Should we, or shouldn't we?
The pros and cons list doesn't actually help when you know you have to do something. It merely delays the inevitable. Are there just as many cons as pros, and pros as cons? Yes, there about is. In the end though, we know we have to do this. Even if it turns out to be just one year, at least we (he) will have the peace and satisfaction of knowing we tried. He tried. We. He? Gaaaaaah whatever. 
This is really about Dylan but by default it becomes about me, and the kids, and even the dog Cinder, and the cats Bolt and Creamsicle. (Also our kids have names.) (Not important right now.)
And so, this brings us to the moving part. Honestly it has been nuts, completely nuts, lately. As you can imagine, so many decisions and variables to consider, distractions, voices, ideas, opinions,

:/ ok now all I'm thinking about is how the word 'opinions' looks a lot like the word 'onions', and I'm wondering why this is, and if they are related in any way...Halp!
Right now we are organizing inside, outside, garage-side, shop-side, basement-side.

 Mostly I start boxing up stuff in a room or closet, and end up sitting on the floor looking at books, or old pictures, sighing nostalgically, and then getting up rather stiffly and shuffling to another room, where I start imagining the chaos that will be unleashed in reorganising THAT room...and then getting very stressed-feeling and going outside, where I am distracted by thinking "Who will take the dog, that dog has lived here all her life, this is going to involve dog psycho-therapy I'm sure" and then raking a pile of leaves and branches, realizing there are serious ACRES of leaves and piles, digging a bit with a shovel, then wandering back inside where I realize I need to deal with e-mails and phone calls and bills and oh jeez we have not a stick of groceries in the house, what on earth are we going to EAT?

At that point there is a tiny brain implosion and I become incapable of doing anything but playing a mindless game on my phone, for about 5 minutes, and then racing madly into town to pick up the kids from school. The theme here is madness. But I'm going to be okay, really, I mean here I am blogging, while surrounded by piles of things that need to go places, papers, bags, boxes filled and unfilled, and the house going up for sale momentarily. I seem to be blinking rather fast. Is that a bad sign? Is that normal?

'blink blink blink'


I can do this.

I am excited (no, excited is a strong word)....I am inspired by the possibility of change. It's going to be tough, but good for us.
Many people do not understand, and I get it.
Why give up a perfectly good job to study something that is not going to advance but rather decrease your family financial situation??
Why put your kids in a different school when they are going to a lovely school here with lovely friends and teachers, etc,??
Why give up your house and acreage to move into a place that definitely will not be an upgrade??

These are all very good questions. Sometimes it's hard to sleep at night for thinking of them.

For now, let's just say it is all to do with God, and His purposes, and believing in that, and wanting to help people in a more whole-life way. Not everyone is supposed to do this, and I'm not sure what it's going to look like for us, but we do know that we have to step off the cliff and onto some faith, and trust that if God is real (and He is), and if we can't shake this "calling" (we can't -we've tried), then moving ahead is our only real option. It's a bit messy and grey and it would be really nice if there was more black-and-white involved, but that's what it is. Maybe more about the journey in a next post.

And Now You Know.



p.s. I think onions are opinions without the pi. Or maybe opinions are onions with pi? Pie? Or something with ions. Or not --


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