Friendly, Talkative Sanguine

Sanguine!!!

The Sanguines burst upon the scene like fireworks: vivacious, colourful, loud, and all eyes on them!
Sanguines would prefer to either be first, or, as in this case, make a grand entrance at the end of the show. Hurrah!!

Everybody loves a Sanguine. And a Sanguine loves everybody! Being with people, talking, laughing it up, telling ridiculous stories...this is Life At It's Best for this personality type. Unlike the introverted Phlegmatic and Melancholy, Sanguine is out there. Extroverted and the life of the party. Who is standing on the table? Who is telling a loud story (embellished richly with details that may or may not be exactly truthful but are certainly hilarious), attracting a growing audience? The dancing girl in my last post with the huge piece of cake, going from guest to guest, is a Sanguine. She's having fun and wants everyone to have fun, too.

If you've watched Parks and Rec (TV show), Tom Haverford is a Sanguine. Yep.  You get it.
(If you haven't watched P and R, what have you been doing with your life!? That show is a riot. In a can. With sprinkles.)

"Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet." -Tom Haverford

"The only good font is the Soprano's one where the R is a pistol." - also Tom Haverford

Tom has the classic Sanguine conundrum; he wants to be amazing, successful, popular, and talented....but he also wants to do whatever he wants, and that part usually wins. He wants to have money, but he wants to spend money more. He wants to have good relationships with people, but he doesn't want to give more of himself than he has to. He wants his cake....and he can't believe he just ate it, the entire thing, by himself.

Signs and Wonders

You can tell a Sanguine pretty much by the way they dress. (But not always.) Where a Melancholy will be carefully matched, often in pastels or softer colours, a Sanguine will be wearing Skittle clothes. Ok maybe not exactly Skittles, per se. You will notice them, though.

 The coach with the plaid shirt, dark purple pants, red tie flung over his shoulder. The woman who comes to the party late, laughing, dressed in yellow, orange and peacock blue, and some kind of 'bling' flashing. The kid who can't wait to dye his hair orange and picks the most amazing looking running shoes at Sport Chek...you know the ones.

The color red is a popular choice of the true Sanguine. Rock stars often wear red, when they aren't wearing black...Jim Morrison, Steven Tyler, Taylor Swift,  Axl Rose, Sting, Demi Lovato, Gwen Stefani, Brandon Flowers...etcetera. All front, center, and sporting a red something; bandanna, stilettos, Napoleon jacket, lipstick vest. Being a rock star and being Sanguine kinda go hand in hand.
 
Someone like Kurt Cobain though? A front man who was not a Sanguine, he couldn't stand the attention and lack of privacy. It probably drained him utterly being in front of people all the time. Naturally introverted, he wanted people to "get" his music, but it drove him crazy watching them all sing along. "With the lights out/it's less dangerous/here we are now entertain us/I feel stupid and contagious/here we are now, entertain us" go the lyrics to the grunge song that blew up the charts, toppling glam rock and pop like a statue of Stalin. He was a Melancholy/Phlegmatic in a Sanguine/Choleric world; a creative person in a performer's role.
I'd love to dedicate a whole blog post to Kurt and grunge and personality....maybe some day.
Oh well, whatever, nevermind.

The Good, Bad, and Ugly in Sanguine Town

The great thing about Sanguine people is they are so optimistic and fun-loving. They know how to motivate and inspire, and can quickly spread enthusiasm for a project. Their curiosity and high-energy bravado make them excellent idea people, good at selling and getting things "off the ground." They have very expressive faces, and often talk with their hands. A Sanguine is likely to view giving a speech as a great opportunity, and will approach it with confidence and excitement. They will be so funny and interesting that no one will notice they only followed their notes for about two minutes.

 If you need someone to introduce you to people, the Sanguine will be the perfect contact. They have so many friends it's not even fair. If you are feeling down, the Sanguine will take you on a shopping spree or an impulsive trip, saying, "Come on! It will be so fun, you'll love it!" Sanguines live in the moment, and forget about the past easily. They will forgive and forget. When the Sanguine finally arrives (because he completely lost track of the time), every head turns and everybody smiles, genuinely happy the Sanguine is here to start the party.

Tigger is Sanguine

The Bad 

On the downside, Sanguines can be attention hogs, and may barge into conversations simply because they feel left out. Generally disorganized and lackadaisical about boring things like time and schedules, the Sanguine may have a messy desk and constantly be late for meetings and appointments. The maddening thing is though they will apologize profusely, you know they will do it again tomorrow. They truly cared, deeply, for about thirty seconds, and then it faded into the past. 

The Sanguine will have a great idea, but won't be able to see it through. They need someone to do the legwork, to keep them on track, or they will litter the landscape with abandoned projects. "Well it seemed great at the time, but it's totally not fun anymore."

Sanguines are expressive talkers. They might knock a vase off your table with their flailing arms. They love to talk, and may not have the patience to listen. If you try telling them your problem, they will most likely launch into a story to illustrate how they feel exactly the same way, and before you even finish your sentence they will have it all figured out. Sanguines must learn to Shut. Up.

Speaking of stories, they love telling them, often embellishing details and adding little things here and there to make it more interesting. Not lying really...not meaning to lie.... but yeah it's actually lying if you think about it. And if you tell a Sanguine something in confidence, well, don't say I didn't warn you. They seem to have an uncontrollable need to spill, whether it's their guts or someone else's.
(Ok that wasn't a great sentence from a visual perspective...haha. Idioms taken up a notch don't always read well!)

Being with an impulsive Sanguine can be AWESOME - and it can also be hell. "What!? You booked us tickets for where?? WHEN???!"  
"Excuse me? You are getting married...TOMORROW??" 
"Well we were thinking of tonight, but thought it might be too soon." Sometimes the best advice a Sanguine can hear is 'Think Before Acting or Speaking'.
Ahhh, yes. That.

Sanguines are often over-sharers. Every thought they want someone to hear or identify with gets posted on Facebook or Instagram immediately. It's a great time, but really...people may have other things to do than read your post, oh Sanguine. And if they don't "like" it immediately, it doesn't mean everyone hates you and you're a loser. Just post about half the things you want to, and the world will still go on.

The Ugly

There's nothing ugly. That was just to finish the phrase. If there is anything ugly, the Sanguine will pretty it up and sell it for 10 times its worth. 

 

The Wrap-up

The fun-loving, sunny Sanguine can be great to have around, but too much exposure can make you feel a bit sun-burned. You may need to seek shelter, especially if you are on the introverted end of the spectrum. Sanguines need to learn that life goes on when they aren't the center of attention. Also, they like to hug everyone they meet, or drape themselves on people to show affection, but a little shoulder squeeze here and there will do it. 

  If the Sanguine works with their strengths and considers how to tone down their weaknesses, he or she can become fairly balanced. If they get out of control, well, that tends towards narcissism. The ME Monster....and nobody likes those.
Admittedly, the above portrayal has been something of a caricature. No Sanguine is totally as I've described, because there are bits of the other personalities sprinkled in that change the flavor of  individual temperaments.
If You are Sanguine, don't hide your personality and think that you are "too much" for everyone.  Enjoy your flair and zest.  When you feel anxious and burnt out, try and relax; take a seat, lean in and listen to someone else.
If you are close to a Sanguine, take a deep breath and dive in. They will help you get the most out of life. If you feel overwhelmed, let them know gently. The Sanguine's feelings may seem hard and brittle like candy, but they are pretty sensitive, more like fudge.

I hope this post opens a window on understanding the personality that loves life, loves people, and just wants the whole world to love them back.

Phlegmatic: Nothing to Do With Phlegm Whatsoever.

....Hi? She asked nervously, aware that she hadn't cracked the door on Blogger in weeks.
Oh hi, come on in.
You're not mad?
No, I have no feelings on the matter at all. Now, pull up a chair and get writing.
She smiled, and sat down.
....actually, scratch that...go brush your hair or put a hat on and get some coffee. Then you can start writing.
Haha. Nice to see you again, Blogger. So glad you haven't changed.

                            *        *        *

GUESS WHAT!! I learned this morning when I should have been sleeping in but was freezing and too cold to get up and shut the window....
that James Franco has a published book OF POETRY!!!! I KNOW!!!! AND he has his Masters Degree in poetry! I got to get my hands on that book! My grammar is so bad today!!!

Alright. Out of system. System pauses, gears turn.

The Phlegmatic

Have you ever met someone who simply didn't seem to care all that much? Now, if you are a "carer" (rather passionate and verbal about things), this not seeming to care will drive you slightly mad. Notice the word seems. 

"Seems," madam? Nay, it is; I know not "seems." (Hamlet)

Hamlet, I dare say, was not phlegmatic. Though he could have been, a touch, along with strong Melancholy, which would explain his tortured mind and difficulty making decisions. Better leave Hamlet for now. Especially since he is dead, and also a fictional character. Lol.
...

The Phlegmatic leans against the door, smiling a little, watching. Not saying anything, and appearing not to watch, he takes in the group. He is evaluating, pondering, discarding this and holding on to that. He is bemused by the laughing, flamboyant creature dancing from guest to guest, shrieking and spilling things, and allows himself a subtle eye roll as she pirouettes nearby, holding an enormous piece of chocolate cake that looks destined for glory or the floor. Someone stops to talk, and he forgets her, enjoying listening to the rapid banter, injecting a word, or even an explanation, and a dose of his dry humor here and there. He longs to sit down, but every comfortable seat is taken.

Portrait of the Phlegmatic

This personality type loves peace. Peace, at all cost. The are good mediators, but sometimes get stuck in family situations, trying to keep the peace, and losing a bit of themselves in the process. They can be taken advantage of because they won't often speak up. Others get more attention because they holler louder. "The squeaky wheel gets the grease...? well, fine, grease it. I will be in my room."

Phlegmatics, if you haven't guessed, are introverted. They crave peace and time alone. Being with people is ok, but it exhausts them. If you walk into an unknown house and have 5 minutes to guess personalities, the Phlegmatic is in a quiet corner with a book, or just staring out the window contemplating the complexities of life.

Phlegmatic types can be hard to reach. And tough to read, as they are not big sharers.  But don't be offended. They just honestly aren't thinking about calling or texting or reaching out to you. Go ahead and call them, they will be happy, but don't expect a call back next week, and don't waste time and energy being upset about it. Not that they don't care; rather, they are truly empathetic and want to be sensitive to the feelings of others.

Phlegmatics are often labeled "Lazy". Now, this is a bit harsh. There's a grain of truth though, as they will definitely do only what is necessary to get the job done. The path of least resistance.  One of the most profound statements I have heard from a Phlegmatic is this: Nothing is ever pressing. There is nothing that needs to get done Right Now.  For this reason Phlegmatics can thrive under pressure, because they need to be pushed, need a reason to get going. They can be extremely hard workers, if working on a task that makes sense to them.

Most Phlegmatics are slow burners in the temper category. They may lose their cool very slowly, but when they do... Duck!! A ten mile fuse, but a huge pile of dynamite. You may have fun pushing their buttons, but be prepared for the hammer to come down. 99% of the time, though, Phlegmatics are stable and calm.

Phlegmatics can have a good time no matter what is going on. They don't have to be busy, don't need wild entertainment, and they are competitive only when they chose to be. They are content! Imagine that.
(No, I can't really imagine it. But I do try....)

Final Thoughts

The Phlegmatic personality is the most fascinating, in my opinion. Probably the hardest for me to understand. Some of my very favorite people in the world lean toward the Phlegmatic. One day, when I grow up, and am a complete and whole person, I will be a Phlegmatic too.

Who Really Cares About Personality?

What is the Big Deal with Personality?

Shall we pause for a moment, and answer the question.

 (PAUSE)

This is kindof an interim post, a blog for those who think this pseudo science of temperaments is a waste of time: laughable at best, detrimental at worst. Not trying to convince you, really, just looking at the reasons why I find it interesting. It's the Choleric temperament that usually finds personality study offensive. I've even had a Choleric person get quite mad about it, stating that it is a terrible form of labeling, and people can change, and on and on etcetera. Which I agree with, to a point. People can and do change; they can overcome personality limitations and open themselves up to brave new worlds. The core temperament will remain the same, but it may be portrayed, or "read", differently.

 In cases of trauma or severe injury I do believe a personality may alter significantly, or shift. But to be honest I've only seen it in movies (e.g. Regarding Henry with Harrison Ford and Annette Benning).

 Take this Quiz!!

People are preoccupied, to varying degrees, with their personalities. How do I know? Well, for one example, the plethora of personality tests on Facebook and other social media.

"Which Lord of the Rings character are you?"

"Which Disney Princess would you be?"

"Which city should you really live in?"

All of the above are attempting to reveal who you are on the inside, based on how you answer certain questions. Choose a nail polish, a novel, a time of day...every selection says something about your personality.
First we want to find out what kind of person we are. We are very self-obsessed, us humans. Don't deny it, ok, unless you are Mother Teresa. Or the ghost of Mother Teresa, for the sake of accuracy...I should shut up now, I sense trouble...

Next, we might be interested in what our good friends or significant others answered those questions with.  Particularly if their result is, "You are Gollum", "Sebastian the crab", or "Your city is Atlantis". *-*

Movies or TV shows contain popular characters that we are likely to be familiar with. And any good story needs a cast of characters, or a cast of temperaments, if you get my drift. How the characters react to each other, how they dress, how they speak, how they enter a room - all these reveal their personality and give clues about their role. What makes it interesting is when a storyline turns this on its head, putting an unconventional personality in a conventional role, or vise versa. So many ways to shake it up! So many ways to misunderstand. Take Pride and Prejudice. Or Rabbit and Tigger. Moses and Aaron. Don Cherry and Ron MacLean?

Like Chocolate and Peanut Butter.

Has anyone ever said, "What on earth is wrong with you?  Why would you DO that?!"...when to you it seemed like a perfectly sane thing to do?
Now, imagine you are a Melancholy. You want to build a deck. But there are so many plans, so many types of decking, and should it be one tier or two tiers? Stairs? Railings? Flagstones? It's impossible. The plans sit stagnating on your desk for not one, not two, but seven long years. If you were Jacob, and the deck was Rachel, you could marry it. In pursuing the ideal deck, the perfect deck, you cannot move forward.

Now imagine (track with me here) a friend from out of town comes to stay....a Choleric friend. In the space of an hour one afternoon, he decides what would be the best deck for you, and while discussing it you agree. He is right! Oh, it seems so easy! And then you go into the local hardware sanctuary and order the deck! Voila.
"Why couldn't I do that?" you query.
Now remember this is just a scenario. Many Melancholies can and do make decisions. It depends what the blend is.

 (Yeah...about that...by the way, each of us is a blend, and all this is simply the groundwork. Oops...)

The point here is if you know a little something about temperaments, you can answer your own question. It won't drive you to drink; it makes some logical sense.

A Match Made in Heaven

I'm using Choleric and Melancholy here because we haven't got to Phlegmatic and Sanguine yet. In the above example, Melancholy and his Choleric friend get along very well - they get things done.
 A Melancholy/Choleric blend in a PERSON is like a clockwork of activity and efficiency. Things get done, and they get done quickly and well. The Phlegmatic looks up, wondering what sort of tornado just flew past.
In a partnership, or marriage, Choleric and Melancholy are very complementary. But sometimes they might drive each other a bit batty. "Why did you go ahead and do that without asking ME??" the Melancholy sniffs, "I had some plans for that!"  Whereupon Choleric says, "You were never going to do it, so don't give me that. At least it's done now, and that's the main thing!"
 And depending on the blend, things can either dissipate or escalate from there....I'll leave it to your imagination.

Here's a bit of homework for you, dear reader. The next time you get into a disagreement with someone, or ask yourself why a particular person is so weird, or insane, or a few bricks short of a load... see if you can guess their basic temperament from the clues you have so far. And then see if you can guess yours. Then contemplate how those two might interact. It probably won't resolve the issue, but it may help to put it in perspective.
Or, maybe they are crazy.
Or (dare I continue) maybe you're a tad out to lunch. Probably not. I apologize for even mentioning such a thing. Never happen again.

“A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”

            ― Albert Einstein

“Looks like what drives me crazy
Don't have no effect on you--
But I'm gonna keep on at it
Till it drives you crazy, too.”
 
            ― Langston Hughes, Selected Poems

 

The Melancholic

 Melancholy.

Hello there. Let's continue looking at the four basic temperaments. And because we are in the land of the Melancholics, we will examine it all very seriously, and quite thoroughly.

Remember Mrs. Perfect? The one making lists, getting all in order, and yet can't relax and have fun at the party? Yep, it's kind of sad. A real Melancholy wouldn't bother organizing a "party", of course. Why not, you ask? Because - they are the truly introverted, and having a lot of people around is NOT a Melancholy's idea of a good time.

Being introverted is the trait shared with Phlegmatics, and being task-oriented is the trait shared with Cholerics. If I can draw a little diagram:

 

Simple, but it helps. Many people would be able to pinpoint where they are on this, though a little self-awareness and objectivity is needed. If a person tends to be energized by being with others, they are more extroverted. If someone feels exhausted after being with people, then introverted. If you tend to measure your day (and your worth) by what you've accomplished - tasks are the focus. If you are driven by relationships, be they close and one-to-one (phlegmatic) or more varied and dispersed (sanguine), your personality may be on the lower half of this diagram.

 

"I Don't Care!" you might be saying. That's alright! It's not everybody's thing.

 

"Know Thyself." It's written on the acropolis at Delphi. An ancient Greek quote attributed to Plato...and sometimes Socrates...and quite possibly Jack Black.... Plato also apparently said,

"Love is a serious mental disease."

So, the guy must have some credence. Obviously knew his stuff.

Melancholy temperaments tend to see the Downside of Things. If you are discussing, say, anything at all, they will point out what could go wrong, and the reasons why it probably will. This can be good if you are considering getting a tattoo, or going bungee jumping on your wedding day. It can be a real kick in the pants if you're trying to run a meeting, go on a trip, or perhaps launch a mission to Mars. I'm sure NASA has it's fair share of Melancholies checking, double-checking, and triple-checking the spaceship thingy. And they would die before calling it a "thingy"!

Know thyself? If I knew myself I would run away.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/johannwolf150599.html#oHQgjMehuc4aUBO2.99

"Know Thyself? If I knew myself, I would run away!"

                                                            - Goethe

Melancholies tend to analyze things. People, situations, bits of paper on the ground, whatever. They will hold it up, look at it from every conceivable angle, and then walk away and stew about it some more. There's a whole lotta thinkin' goin' on. And this can be very good, when important decisions have to be made. And this can be very bad, when important decisions have to be made. A-HEM! (cough, cough)
 For example, if the decision involves what kind of paint to use in the kitchen, and it takes 5 years to decide.

Melancholies are perfectionists. The Ideal is so important, that the Real sometimes never happens. If, as a child, a person erased and re-drew pictures or sentences in a scribbler for school that weren't quite right.....they might be a Melancholy. If they rearrange the furniture a lot, or conversely if they NEVER rearrange the furniture. There is this curious thing about it being both ways, depending on other factors.
Melancholies match their clothing. Makeup, socks, jewelry, belt, sweater - all carefully chosen.
There is a right way to do everything, and melancholy temperaments have a tough time watching someone do it wrong.
A Phlegmatic-Melancholy will watch quietly from a distance, going crazy inside at whatever wrong thing is happening. Perhaps someone is stirring their tea aggressively, or washing windows with large, sloppy swipes. Ahhh!! SO annoying.
A Choleric-Melancholy will step in, grab whatever is offending and put it right. "No, like this", they are often heard saying. Your collar sticking up offensively? Your hair? They will pat it down. Taking too long to wash the car? They will take the pressure washer right out of your hands and show you exactly how to wash the car. Which can be fun, if you're smart about it.

Melancholies are also sensitive. Prone to anxiety and nervous habits, they can become depressed fairly easily. Moods are not the most stable, and can swing back and forth, but not in a showy, fantastic way. Melancholies often keep their moods to themselves, feigning a sort of calm exterior.
This sensitivity results in Melancholies being wonderful musicians, artists, and the like. Not always - but they will at least have a deep appreciation for music and art. There is a need to create that can be a great outlet for the inner emotional life of the Melancholic. When creative outlets are stifled they can become deeply depressed, and need to watch for this.

Many people who consider themselves of the Melancholy temperament love the color blue. It's not a rule or anything, they just do. 


Quiet, intensely thoughtful, carefully organized, the Melancholic can be a blessing to have around. If they become lost in a sea of dark thoughts, it can be hard to bring them around again to the light.
A few famous Melancholies are Sylvia Plath, Martin Luther, Sir Isaac Newton, Vincent van Gogh, Ernest Hemingway. Poet, theologian, scientist, painter, writer.

If you are a Melancholy, you will need quiet time alone. You will need to think, feel, express, create.
And remember - other people are not always the problem. Sometimes, the problem lies within, and it's brave and helpful to face that reality.

Understanding ourselves can open the door to understanding others. Which can be a beautiful thing.

 

 

 

 

 



Comes In Like a Lion

"Roooaaarrr!"

Let's just cut to the chase.
The Choleric Personalities are the lions, the type A, the In Charge or Should Be in Charge. They are ambitious, passionate, and high-strung. The Choleric is always right, they know they are right, and everyone else has to know it, too.
And the maddening thing is, they pretty much ARE right, most of the time.

     If you happen to mention you had the flu....he or she will ask if you had your flu shot. : Don't go on about your symptoms, cough, or sniff, or look woe-be-gone; it only adds fuel to the fire. Basically - be alive, be dead, but don't be sick, sad, or anything in between.
     If you need directions, he will sigh and ask what happened to your map, then tell you the best possible way to get there. If you happen to get lost again, do not, I repeat DO NOT go back and ask again. It would be better to miss your transatlantic flight entirely, not show up for the speaking engagement, or leave your kids at the birthday party overnight.
     If you voice any concerns over how your children are behaving, she will explain precisely what it is you are doing wrong, give you 2 or 3 books on the subject, point exuberantly to her own cherubs, smile broadly and ask, "Now, what were you saying?"

     If you don't know what to do, ask a Choleric. They will be thrilled to tell you, no matter what stammering act of humility or bashfulness they may put on when first asked.

VIP's

Now, you may think I'm being awfully harsh, but I'm simply getting the rough stuff out of the way first.
The Cholerics are also sorely needed in the world. Who is going to take charge at the accident scene? Who will chair the committee? Who will stand up and say what needs to be said when the time comes?
Who will tell you that yes, you do look fat in those jeans, because they are the wrong brand/cut/style/price/color, and here's an exercise program while we're at it....WoooOops!  off on a wee tangent there...back up....start again...
Who will be the President, the lead hand, the manager of the store, the commander of the army, the lawyer who wins the case? Who will lead the band? Who will be fine putting their neck on the line for the rights of the unborn or the mistreated? The no-holds-barred Choleric will!!

"Not me, please."

Not always, of course. Look at history - Napoleon was no-doubt of mostly choleric temperament, as was Alexander the Great, and others who battled, shot, fired, or clawed their way to the top. But what about Abraham Lincoln, William Wilberforce, or Winston Churchill? When leadership is either unapparent or undesired, the personality may be predominantly something else, but a current of Choleric is in there. When they are against the wall politically, morally, or even physically, they will not shrink back, but will lead the charge if necessary or say to the proverbial spade, "You, my friend, are a spade!"

For the Girls

Most people imagine a strong, powerful man when they think of the Choleric temperament. Women, however, have this personality just as often but often choose, or learn, to mask it. Hmm. Yes, indeedy.
        (Masking your personality is an entire matter on its own - books, volumes of books, tomes of books - could be written on how and why people hide behind a different face.)
An opinionated, powerful woman is not readily accepted by society, even today's society. The Choleric woman is sure to receive a truckload of criticism if she is true to her actual self. Unless she owns a navy business suit and a bright yellow Camaro....then, bring it. Or perhaps the phrase "The Honourable", before her name.

Margaret Thatcher aside, you can tell a woman or girl of choleric temperament because she is not afraid to tell you her opinion, and actually will look for opportunities to do so. You may come out of an hour-long debate about the State of Education Today dripping sweat, wrung out, and hung to dry, but she will feel invigorated, high, on top of the world! "Wasn't that a wonderful discussion we had! We should do this again soon", she beams at you. Blinking rapidly and sucking in great quantities of oxygen, you gasp, "Yes, yes of course! Wonderful!" and slink toward the nearest exit, vowing to stick to vapid tea party fare from now on, with perhaps the odd foray into weather.

The Choleric temperament actually enjoys conflict, to a point. You will often find them trying to pin down what someone actually thinks on a topic, and once they find out, Aha!! It's a bit like a fencing match. Sidestep, shuffle, sidestep, JAB!! Isn't this great fun?
Well it is, if you are also choleric. If not, it's a bit like a classical violinist walking mistakenly into a KISS concert, circa 1987. Cover ears, duck, and RUN AWAYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Pluses and Minuseses. es.

The strengths that go with this temperament are decisiveness, leadership, managerial skill, ability to delegate, and a knack for blazing new trails. Think, Rambo, but in a power suit.

What a Choleric may need to work on is a little thing called tact, a servant attitude, listening skills, and empathy.
And also tact.
Interpersonal relationships can sometimes be a tad shaky.
The Choleric parent may have to be careful not to break their child's spirit.
The Choleric boss may have a little problem called High Turnaround.
The Choleric child will have a mom with Dobson's The Strong-Willed Child under her pillow, and a box of Kleenex by the bed. Or perhaps a collection of wooden spoons in a drawer, all depending.

And Big Hearts

The thing with Cholerics is because they lead the charge so readily, others think they have a thick skin. In fact, Choleric personalities have just as many feelings, are just as sensitive, as everybody else. But they tend to get things thrown up in their face a lot. "Well, they dish it, so they better be able to take it", can be the assumption. 
Choleric types have probably the biggest hearts out there. They care deeply about others, but are often misunderstood. Over time, they can be hurt and scarred, and then perhaps comes the thick skin.
A perceived inability to relate becomes an actual inability to relate.
Cholerics may yell the loudest, but their hearts beat the strongest.

And if you love one, or you are one, remember that.
Also remember that people are people -- complex, textured, nuanced, with many colored threads woven through the fabric of their personalities and character.

{Oh, and personality does not equal character; the two are in fact very different kettles of fish.}

Not the Whole Story 

I am not trying here, in this elementary discussion, to pigeonhole Anyone. It would be ludicrous and downright criminal if I was. Just be yourself, your highly textured, nuanced self.
The point here is not to apply labels, but to think, to ponder, to understand in a richer way why we are the way we are, and to give others permission to act like themselves. I take offense less now, because I know the Cholerics in my life are not trying to put me down or run me over, they are most likely simply expressing themselves through their particular bent, or natural temperament. Not to sugarcoat everything, but it definitely helps to know where someone is coming from when they make impossible demands or tell you exactly what it is you're doing wrong. Takes the sting out of it. If you get where they are coming from, you just smile and roll your eyes to heaven. Very quietly, of course.

So, we've begun. Who shall we do next?

p.s. Full disclosure. About eight years ago I read the wonderful book Personality Plus by Florence Littauer. Many of my thoughts and ideas have been distilled from that book, and though I don't have it now, I'm betting some of my basic premises are close to hers. All credit where credit is due! Also I do a lot of people-watching. :)  sounds kinda creepy. :{

Cheese Whiz (also) Adds Personality

"Cheese Whiz adds (bom) Personality, personality...." Da, da da da.

That little jingle is ingrained in my consciousness and I didn't even grow up with TV. So why would the Cheese Whiz people choose to market their brand with the word "Personality?"
Without cheese whiz, you have a bland, boring, insignificant piece of toast, or bread, or cracker. (Actually, without cheese whiz you avoid instant clogging of the arteries, but let's pretend we don't know that.)

WITH cheese whiz, you have Zinggg!! Spark! Fun! Taste! A certain 'joie de vivre', if I may.
WITHOUT it, you lack that defining characteristic that makes things interesting, that makes a robot human, that gives worth and meaning to life. Very important stuff!!

I've always been fascinated by personality.

Why do some people see things so differently than I do? Why do they act so strange?

Personality is sometimes called temperament. The word 'temperament' is used to describe those innate traits that are genetically implanted -- the backbone of personality, so to speak. All the learned behaviors, coping mechanisms and those traits acquired by environment and influence -- those are the flesh and face of temperament, or what the world sees when they see you.

How many people do you know who have been hired at once, with perhaps no skill for the job whatever, and you know it was because they had a naturally warm, pleasing personality? Or maybe there is a great friend that you overlooked for awhile, because you couldn't get past the cool, aloof exterior.

Why does Mrs. Perfect make Christmas lists galore and yet never seems to be quite ready for the party, and certainly can't enjoy it?
And why does Mrs. Nutso, who can't remember or make a list for the life of her, throw an enormous, splendid bash that folks remember for years?

How come the guy sitting by himself at the party turns out to be a witty conversationalist who keeps you fascinated for two straight hours?
And how come the grinning host who took your coats and bags when you came in, then sat you down graciously, spends the whole evening arguing vehemently with another guest? Not to mention you noticed him criticizing his poor wife for her hap-hazard, though colorful, attire.

It's a party, all right. Life is full of personality.

I enjoy studying what makes people tick. It has helped immensely in both understanding myself and others. I have more patience for fellow-travelers on this journey, and more grace for our collective idiosyncrasies.

Does this get people off the hook for being nasty, ridiculous, edgy, or petty? Nope.

One of the most frustrating things is hearing someone cover their mistake or laziness with "Oh, that's just the way I am!"  Or, they cannot be persuaded to look at things from an angle other than their own. "That's the way I see it." is their final, smug word. And if you try to point out the trench they have dug around themselves....good luck. They are intently focused on the thin slice of truth directly in front of their eyes.

Now, if you have a certain temperament, there are certain temperaments which will naturally drive you crazy. It will be great fun when we get to that part of the discussion. Also, there is one temperament which scoffs at the study of personality and we can have a good laugh at them because they will never read this far down the blog.
And perhaps most important, there is never just one type of personality in a person. We are each a blend, or a mix even, though generally there is one dominant temperament - one that stands out more from the others.

So here begins a little study of the temperaments. A human exploration, if you will.

Choleric, Melancholic, Sanguine, Phlegmatic

Though there are several modern personality theories, I've found the most helpful to be the original four temperaments suggested by the Greek physician Hippocrates (460-370 BC).

Phlegmatic by Lespagnandelle,
Grande Commande, Palace of Versailles. 

These four were developed further by Galen (AD 131-200), and elaborated on by thinkers, psychologists and scientists up to the present day. Some well-known contributors are Immanuel Kant (1700's) and Ethan Fromm (1947). More recently, we have the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and Meyer Friedman's Type A and B, which was used in cardiology to determine risk factor for heart disease. But let's not get bogged down in the history or the details!

(though if you're interested, I recommend looking it up  - fascinating stuff.)

We must begin with the Cholerics, because they would insist upon it. Though rarely, as suggested earlier, does a true Choleric give this kind of thing the time of day, let alone study it. Perhaps the Phlegmatic could convince one, but only by their subtlety and wit...

Stay tuned for the next post about the Choleric personality. (IF I can carve out an hour to do it; this morning I am pushing back an avalanche of responsibility in order to hold my computer in my arms....)

In the meantime, what is my personality? I'll tell you one thing, I was the most surprised of all.

 

Help Me!

Bloggishness

Hello, and thanks for reading.
I've been aware for some time that my little blog here is a bit dis-jointed. Heck, it's a chaotic disaster. Alright, now that was exaggeration. Let's hit it right down the center: My blog is a messy shelf of random titles. Think, 'book table at a garage sale'.

There are poems (good lord what was I thinking), devotionals (should get back on that wagon), my opinions of life, faith, you-name-it, the first chapter of a wonderful story that is still rattling its cage in the vacuous realms of Pam's Brain, chats about movies. A Literal Hodgepodge, for my English friends!

......I have no English friends. Nevermind!

A cursory survey of "How to improve your blog" yields an avalanche of results. Literally every career blogger has an article or six dedicated to the explanations (dripping with humbleness, of course) of how they made it to the top of the pile. How they Gained Readership, and hence, how they can actually quit their day job.

Well, it was fun reading. Insightful even, and I learned something that I already knew -- that your blog should have a Theme. (ooooh I'm using so many CAPITALS!!)

How Very Niche

Every decent blog needs a unifying theme. You need to find your passion, and from that, your niche. What do you enjoy? What do you think about? What do you have books on? What gets you fired up? No, you can't have a blog about whiskey on the rocks or Brad Pitt. Well you could. But just - don't.

The point is, I haven't really cared. I've been writing "for fun and for practice", which is truth. And I don't especially want a large readership, though I'm happy when my friends read it and especially when they (you?) comment and critique. So thanks for
that.

What About Me?

Well, it got me thinking. What on God's green earth is my niche?? A problem I've had my whole life long is that I'm good at so many things.

Hahahaha....

I found this pic under "person looking incredulous".

It's quite perfect. 

No really, I do enjoy a ton of different things. 

What do I love?

People.            Books.             Stories. 

Music.     MEANING.      THINKING.     Singing!

I asked someone what I was passionate about. Here's what they said.

Literature. Shakespeare. Rock and Roll. Worship. Jesus. People I love.

What I don't like? I didn't ask, but this same friend said, "Overly intellectual buffoons. Those with sticks up their butt." Haha! That is funny!  (And true) 

Quite the list, at any rate. 

I should perhaps work on my image, if that's what my friends think of me....Time for an overhaul. 

******
I think if I had known what philosophy WAS when I went to university, I would have taken that. And still the English....and yes the music too. The Education courses (major) I would have dropped. Of course, those have come in handy. Even my Geography of British Columbia course came in handy. Who knew?

To sum up -- I'm passionate about the stories of people in books, music, films. I love to think about the meaning, or lack of meaning as the case may be...of Life. The Story behind the story, I guess. 

Why people are the way they are.

Annnnnddddd......

Still haven't found the theme.  I'm nicheless. I'm not wearing any niche!

Oy.
Oh yeah, and Humour, too. Spelt the Canadian way, might I add. Is "spelt" even a word? Do I care?

(yes, I care, it's driving me nuts and yet I'm too lazy to look it up.)

To Sum Up

If anyone has ideas about this I'd love to hear them. Sometimes others know best what you are passionate about. In return, I will name a planet after you, or maybe a mountain on a planet, or something. You will be rewarded!! Never fear!!

Basically I would like to rename and refocus this blog to make a little more sense. I don't like parameters. But there is more freedom sometimes within them, and less chaos. Perhaps less crazy. Is that a good thing?

Look very forward to hearing your thoughts or ideas for a blog theme. If you have trouble commenting, send to my e-mail padyham@telus.net or look me up on Facebook or whatever.

(NO stalking though, I've had my fair share of that and it is No Fun At All.)

 Curious?

That, dare I say, is another story.