The Melancholic

 Melancholy.

Hello there. Let's continue looking at the four basic temperaments. And because we are in the land of the Melancholics, we will examine it all very seriously, and quite thoroughly.

Remember Mrs. Perfect? The one making lists, getting all in order, and yet can't relax and have fun at the party? Yep, it's kind of sad. A real Melancholy wouldn't bother organizing a "party", of course. Why not, you ask? Because - they are the truly introverted, and having a lot of people around is NOT a Melancholy's idea of a good time.

Being introverted is the trait shared with Phlegmatics, and being task-oriented is the trait shared with Cholerics. If I can draw a little diagram:

 

Simple, but it helps. Many people would be able to pinpoint where they are on this, though a little self-awareness and objectivity is needed. If a person tends to be energized by being with others, they are more extroverted. If someone feels exhausted after being with people, then introverted. If you tend to measure your day (and your worth) by what you've accomplished - tasks are the focus. If you are driven by relationships, be they close and one-to-one (phlegmatic) or more varied and dispersed (sanguine), your personality may be on the lower half of this diagram.

 

"I Don't Care!" you might be saying. That's alright! It's not everybody's thing.

 

"Know Thyself." It's written on the acropolis at Delphi. An ancient Greek quote attributed to Plato...and sometimes Socrates...and quite possibly Jack Black.... Plato also apparently said,

"Love is a serious mental disease."

So, the guy must have some credence. Obviously knew his stuff.

Melancholy temperaments tend to see the Downside of Things. If you are discussing, say, anything at all, they will point out what could go wrong, and the reasons why it probably will. This can be good if you are considering getting a tattoo, or going bungee jumping on your wedding day. It can be a real kick in the pants if you're trying to run a meeting, go on a trip, or perhaps launch a mission to Mars. I'm sure NASA has it's fair share of Melancholies checking, double-checking, and triple-checking the spaceship thingy. And they would die before calling it a "thingy"!

Know thyself? If I knew myself I would run away.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/johannwolf150599.html#oHQgjMehuc4aUBO2.99

"Know Thyself? If I knew myself, I would run away!"

                                                            - Goethe

Melancholies tend to analyze things. People, situations, bits of paper on the ground, whatever. They will hold it up, look at it from every conceivable angle, and then walk away and stew about it some more. There's a whole lotta thinkin' goin' on. And this can be very good, when important decisions have to be made. And this can be very bad, when important decisions have to be made. A-HEM! (cough, cough)
 For example, if the decision involves what kind of paint to use in the kitchen, and it takes 5 years to decide.

Melancholies are perfectionists. The Ideal is so important, that the Real sometimes never happens. If, as a child, a person erased and re-drew pictures or sentences in a scribbler for school that weren't quite right.....they might be a Melancholy. If they rearrange the furniture a lot, or conversely if they NEVER rearrange the furniture. There is this curious thing about it being both ways, depending on other factors.
Melancholies match their clothing. Makeup, socks, jewelry, belt, sweater - all carefully chosen.
There is a right way to do everything, and melancholy temperaments have a tough time watching someone do it wrong.
A Phlegmatic-Melancholy will watch quietly from a distance, going crazy inside at whatever wrong thing is happening. Perhaps someone is stirring their tea aggressively, or washing windows with large, sloppy swipes. Ahhh!! SO annoying.
A Choleric-Melancholy will step in, grab whatever is offending and put it right. "No, like this", they are often heard saying. Your collar sticking up offensively? Your hair? They will pat it down. Taking too long to wash the car? They will take the pressure washer right out of your hands and show you exactly how to wash the car. Which can be fun, if you're smart about it.

Melancholies are also sensitive. Prone to anxiety and nervous habits, they can become depressed fairly easily. Moods are not the most stable, and can swing back and forth, but not in a showy, fantastic way. Melancholies often keep their moods to themselves, feigning a sort of calm exterior.
This sensitivity results in Melancholies being wonderful musicians, artists, and the like. Not always - but they will at least have a deep appreciation for music and art. There is a need to create that can be a great outlet for the inner emotional life of the Melancholic. When creative outlets are stifled they can become deeply depressed, and need to watch for this.

Many people who consider themselves of the Melancholy temperament love the color blue. It's not a rule or anything, they just do. 


Quiet, intensely thoughtful, carefully organized, the Melancholic can be a blessing to have around. If they become lost in a sea of dark thoughts, it can be hard to bring them around again to the light.
A few famous Melancholies are Sylvia Plath, Martin Luther, Sir Isaac Newton, Vincent van Gogh, Ernest Hemingway. Poet, theologian, scientist, painter, writer.

If you are a Melancholy, you will need quiet time alone. You will need to think, feel, express, create.
And remember - other people are not always the problem. Sometimes, the problem lies within, and it's brave and helpful to face that reality.

Understanding ourselves can open the door to understanding others. Which can be a beautiful thing.

 

 

 

 

 



Comes In Like a Lion

"Roooaaarrr!"

Let's just cut to the chase.
The Choleric Personalities are the lions, the type A, the In Charge or Should Be in Charge. They are ambitious, passionate, and high-strung. The Choleric is always right, they know they are right, and everyone else has to know it, too.
And the maddening thing is, they pretty much ARE right, most of the time.

     If you happen to mention you had the flu....he or she will ask if you had your flu shot. : Don't go on about your symptoms, cough, or sniff, or look woe-be-gone; it only adds fuel to the fire. Basically - be alive, be dead, but don't be sick, sad, or anything in between.
     If you need directions, he will sigh and ask what happened to your map, then tell you the best possible way to get there. If you happen to get lost again, do not, I repeat DO NOT go back and ask again. It would be better to miss your transatlantic flight entirely, not show up for the speaking engagement, or leave your kids at the birthday party overnight.
     If you voice any concerns over how your children are behaving, she will explain precisely what it is you are doing wrong, give you 2 or 3 books on the subject, point exuberantly to her own cherubs, smile broadly and ask, "Now, what were you saying?"

     If you don't know what to do, ask a Choleric. They will be thrilled to tell you, no matter what stammering act of humility or bashfulness they may put on when first asked.

VIP's

Now, you may think I'm being awfully harsh, but I'm simply getting the rough stuff out of the way first.
The Cholerics are also sorely needed in the world. Who is going to take charge at the accident scene? Who will chair the committee? Who will stand up and say what needs to be said when the time comes?
Who will tell you that yes, you do look fat in those jeans, because they are the wrong brand/cut/style/price/color, and here's an exercise program while we're at it....WoooOops!  off on a wee tangent there...back up....start again...
Who will be the President, the lead hand, the manager of the store, the commander of the army, the lawyer who wins the case? Who will lead the band? Who will be fine putting their neck on the line for the rights of the unborn or the mistreated? The no-holds-barred Choleric will!!

"Not me, please."

Not always, of course. Look at history - Napoleon was no-doubt of mostly choleric temperament, as was Alexander the Great, and others who battled, shot, fired, or clawed their way to the top. But what about Abraham Lincoln, William Wilberforce, or Winston Churchill? When leadership is either unapparent or undesired, the personality may be predominantly something else, but a current of Choleric is in there. When they are against the wall politically, morally, or even physically, they will not shrink back, but will lead the charge if necessary or say to the proverbial spade, "You, my friend, are a spade!"

For the Girls

Most people imagine a strong, powerful man when they think of the Choleric temperament. Women, however, have this personality just as often but often choose, or learn, to mask it. Hmm. Yes, indeedy.
        (Masking your personality is an entire matter on its own - books, volumes of books, tomes of books - could be written on how and why people hide behind a different face.)
An opinionated, powerful woman is not readily accepted by society, even today's society. The Choleric woman is sure to receive a truckload of criticism if she is true to her actual self. Unless she owns a navy business suit and a bright yellow Camaro....then, bring it. Or perhaps the phrase "The Honourable", before her name.

Margaret Thatcher aside, you can tell a woman or girl of choleric temperament because she is not afraid to tell you her opinion, and actually will look for opportunities to do so. You may come out of an hour-long debate about the State of Education Today dripping sweat, wrung out, and hung to dry, but she will feel invigorated, high, on top of the world! "Wasn't that a wonderful discussion we had! We should do this again soon", she beams at you. Blinking rapidly and sucking in great quantities of oxygen, you gasp, "Yes, yes of course! Wonderful!" and slink toward the nearest exit, vowing to stick to vapid tea party fare from now on, with perhaps the odd foray into weather.

The Choleric temperament actually enjoys conflict, to a point. You will often find them trying to pin down what someone actually thinks on a topic, and once they find out, Aha!! It's a bit like a fencing match. Sidestep, shuffle, sidestep, JAB!! Isn't this great fun?
Well it is, if you are also choleric. If not, it's a bit like a classical violinist walking mistakenly into a KISS concert, circa 1987. Cover ears, duck, and RUN AWAYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Pluses and Minuseses. es.

The strengths that go with this temperament are decisiveness, leadership, managerial skill, ability to delegate, and a knack for blazing new trails. Think, Rambo, but in a power suit.

What a Choleric may need to work on is a little thing called tact, a servant attitude, listening skills, and empathy.
And also tact.
Interpersonal relationships can sometimes be a tad shaky.
The Choleric parent may have to be careful not to break their child's spirit.
The Choleric boss may have a little problem called High Turnaround.
The Choleric child will have a mom with Dobson's The Strong-Willed Child under her pillow, and a box of Kleenex by the bed. Or perhaps a collection of wooden spoons in a drawer, all depending.

And Big Hearts

The thing with Cholerics is because they lead the charge so readily, others think they have a thick skin. In fact, Choleric personalities have just as many feelings, are just as sensitive, as everybody else. But they tend to get things thrown up in their face a lot. "Well, they dish it, so they better be able to take it", can be the assumption. 
Choleric types have probably the biggest hearts out there. They care deeply about others, but are often misunderstood. Over time, they can be hurt and scarred, and then perhaps comes the thick skin.
A perceived inability to relate becomes an actual inability to relate.
Cholerics may yell the loudest, but their hearts beat the strongest.

And if you love one, or you are one, remember that.
Also remember that people are people -- complex, textured, nuanced, with many colored threads woven through the fabric of their personalities and character.

{Oh, and personality does not equal character; the two are in fact very different kettles of fish.}

Not the Whole Story 

I am not trying here, in this elementary discussion, to pigeonhole Anyone. It would be ludicrous and downright criminal if I was. Just be yourself, your highly textured, nuanced self.
The point here is not to apply labels, but to think, to ponder, to understand in a richer way why we are the way we are, and to give others permission to act like themselves. I take offense less now, because I know the Cholerics in my life are not trying to put me down or run me over, they are most likely simply expressing themselves through their particular bent, or natural temperament. Not to sugarcoat everything, but it definitely helps to know where someone is coming from when they make impossible demands or tell you exactly what it is you're doing wrong. Takes the sting out of it. If you get where they are coming from, you just smile and roll your eyes to heaven. Very quietly, of course.

So, we've begun. Who shall we do next?

p.s. Full disclosure. About eight years ago I read the wonderful book Personality Plus by Florence Littauer. Many of my thoughts and ideas have been distilled from that book, and though I don't have it now, I'm betting some of my basic premises are close to hers. All credit where credit is due! Also I do a lot of people-watching. :)  sounds kinda creepy. :{

Cheese Whiz (also) Adds Personality

"Cheese Whiz adds (bom) Personality, personality...." Da, da da da.

That little jingle is ingrained in my consciousness and I didn't even grow up with TV. So why would the Cheese Whiz people choose to market their brand with the word "Personality?"
Without cheese whiz, you have a bland, boring, insignificant piece of toast, or bread, or cracker. (Actually, without cheese whiz you avoid instant clogging of the arteries, but let's pretend we don't know that.)

WITH cheese whiz, you have Zinggg!! Spark! Fun! Taste! A certain 'joie de vivre', if I may.
WITHOUT it, you lack that defining characteristic that makes things interesting, that makes a robot human, that gives worth and meaning to life. Very important stuff!!

I've always been fascinated by personality.

Why do some people see things so differently than I do? Why do they act so strange?

Personality is sometimes called temperament. The word 'temperament' is used to describe those innate traits that are genetically implanted -- the backbone of personality, so to speak. All the learned behaviors, coping mechanisms and those traits acquired by environment and influence -- those are the flesh and face of temperament, or what the world sees when they see you.

How many people do you know who have been hired at once, with perhaps no skill for the job whatever, and you know it was because they had a naturally warm, pleasing personality? Or maybe there is a great friend that you overlooked for awhile, because you couldn't get past the cool, aloof exterior.

Why does Mrs. Perfect make Christmas lists galore and yet never seems to be quite ready for the party, and certainly can't enjoy it?
And why does Mrs. Nutso, who can't remember or make a list for the life of her, throw an enormous, splendid bash that folks remember for years?

How come the guy sitting by himself at the party turns out to be a witty conversationalist who keeps you fascinated for two straight hours?
And how come the grinning host who took your coats and bags when you came in, then sat you down graciously, spends the whole evening arguing vehemently with another guest? Not to mention you noticed him criticizing his poor wife for her hap-hazard, though colorful, attire.

It's a party, all right. Life is full of personality.

I enjoy studying what makes people tick. It has helped immensely in both understanding myself and others. I have more patience for fellow-travelers on this journey, and more grace for our collective idiosyncrasies.

Does this get people off the hook for being nasty, ridiculous, edgy, or petty? Nope.

One of the most frustrating things is hearing someone cover their mistake or laziness with "Oh, that's just the way I am!"  Or, they cannot be persuaded to look at things from an angle other than their own. "That's the way I see it." is their final, smug word. And if you try to point out the trench they have dug around themselves....good luck. They are intently focused on the thin slice of truth directly in front of their eyes.

Now, if you have a certain temperament, there are certain temperaments which will naturally drive you crazy. It will be great fun when we get to that part of the discussion. Also, there is one temperament which scoffs at the study of personality and we can have a good laugh at them because they will never read this far down the blog.
And perhaps most important, there is never just one type of personality in a person. We are each a blend, or a mix even, though generally there is one dominant temperament - one that stands out more from the others.

So here begins a little study of the temperaments. A human exploration, if you will.

Choleric, Melancholic, Sanguine, Phlegmatic

Though there are several modern personality theories, I've found the most helpful to be the original four temperaments suggested by the Greek physician Hippocrates (460-370 BC).

Phlegmatic by Lespagnandelle,
Grande Commande, Palace of Versailles. 

These four were developed further by Galen (AD 131-200), and elaborated on by thinkers, psychologists and scientists up to the present day. Some well-known contributors are Immanuel Kant (1700's) and Ethan Fromm (1947). More recently, we have the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and Meyer Friedman's Type A and B, which was used in cardiology to determine risk factor for heart disease. But let's not get bogged down in the history or the details!

(though if you're interested, I recommend looking it up  - fascinating stuff.)

We must begin with the Cholerics, because they would insist upon it. Though rarely, as suggested earlier, does a true Choleric give this kind of thing the time of day, let alone study it. Perhaps the Phlegmatic could convince one, but only by their subtlety and wit...

Stay tuned for the next post about the Choleric personality. (IF I can carve out an hour to do it; this morning I am pushing back an avalanche of responsibility in order to hold my computer in my arms....)

In the meantime, what is my personality? I'll tell you one thing, I was the most surprised of all.

 

Help Me!

Bloggishness

Hello, and thanks for reading.
I've been aware for some time that my little blog here is a bit dis-jointed. Heck, it's a chaotic disaster. Alright, now that was exaggeration. Let's hit it right down the center: My blog is a messy shelf of random titles. Think, 'book table at a garage sale'.

There are poems (good lord what was I thinking), devotionals (should get back on that wagon), my opinions of life, faith, you-name-it, the first chapter of a wonderful story that is still rattling its cage in the vacuous realms of Pam's Brain, chats about movies. A Literal Hodgepodge, for my English friends!

......I have no English friends. Nevermind!

A cursory survey of "How to improve your blog" yields an avalanche of results. Literally every career blogger has an article or six dedicated to the explanations (dripping with humbleness, of course) of how they made it to the top of the pile. How they Gained Readership, and hence, how they can actually quit their day job.

Well, it was fun reading. Insightful even, and I learned something that I already knew -- that your blog should have a Theme. (ooooh I'm using so many CAPITALS!!)

How Very Niche

Every decent blog needs a unifying theme. You need to find your passion, and from that, your niche. What do you enjoy? What do you think about? What do you have books on? What gets you fired up? No, you can't have a blog about whiskey on the rocks or Brad Pitt. Well you could. But just - don't.

The point is, I haven't really cared. I've been writing "for fun and for practice", which is truth. And I don't especially want a large readership, though I'm happy when my friends read it and especially when they (you?) comment and critique. So thanks for
that.

What About Me?

Well, it got me thinking. What on God's green earth is my niche?? A problem I've had my whole life long is that I'm good at so many things.

Hahahaha....

I found this pic under "person looking incredulous".

It's quite perfect. 

No really, I do enjoy a ton of different things. 

What do I love?

People.            Books.             Stories. 

Music.     MEANING.      THINKING.     Singing!

I asked someone what I was passionate about. Here's what they said.

Literature. Shakespeare. Rock and Roll. Worship. Jesus. People I love.

What I don't like? I didn't ask, but this same friend said, "Overly intellectual buffoons. Those with sticks up their butt." Haha! That is funny!  (And true) 

Quite the list, at any rate. 

I should perhaps work on my image, if that's what my friends think of me....Time for an overhaul. 

******
I think if I had known what philosophy WAS when I went to university, I would have taken that. And still the English....and yes the music too. The Education courses (major) I would have dropped. Of course, those have come in handy. Even my Geography of British Columbia course came in handy. Who knew?

To sum up -- I'm passionate about the stories of people in books, music, films. I love to think about the meaning, or lack of meaning as the case may be...of Life. The Story behind the story, I guess. 

Why people are the way they are.

Annnnnddddd......

Still haven't found the theme.  I'm nicheless. I'm not wearing any niche!

Oy.
Oh yeah, and Humour, too. Spelt the Canadian way, might I add. Is "spelt" even a word? Do I care?

(yes, I care, it's driving me nuts and yet I'm too lazy to look it up.)

To Sum Up

If anyone has ideas about this I'd love to hear them. Sometimes others know best what you are passionate about. In return, I will name a planet after you, or maybe a mountain on a planet, or something. You will be rewarded!! Never fear!!

Basically I would like to rename and refocus this blog to make a little more sense. I don't like parameters. But there is more freedom sometimes within them, and less chaos. Perhaps less crazy. Is that a good thing?

Look very forward to hearing your thoughts or ideas for a blog theme. If you have trouble commenting, send to my e-mail padyham@telus.net or look me up on Facebook or whatever.

(NO stalking though, I've had my fair share of that and it is No Fun At All.)

 Curious?

That, dare I say, is another story. 












 

 

Watching More Spiderman

watching Spiderman … 3

Heh, heh. I love this movie. Or these movies, to be precise.

Opens --

“Everything is wonderful”…. so they say. Love is in the air, people holding hands, everybody loves Spiderman. Next -- James Franco in his boxers, sinister and full of dark fury, walking out of a chamber of green mist. Maybe not so wonderful.

Enter villain two: Venom falls from the sky.

Enter villain three: Sandman the escaped convict in his kitchen, arguing with his truly terrible wife.

I like Aunt May. “A man has to be understanding, and put his wife before himself. Can you do that, Peter?” Peter looks so happy, so self-satisfied and beatifically content. A perfect contrast to the heyday of hell that is about to be unleashed. BAM!! HISSSSS!! ROAR!!

Our Hero

What I like about Maguire’s portrayal is the latent energy behind his mildly bemused, slightly sad face. I like people like that, who have so much going on under the surface, but never let you know it.  He’s very human, and that’s why we like him. He takes MJ for granted like any other guy on an ego high. He tells her what to think and how to feel, and then expects her to be ecstatic to marry him. But we know he has so much more in there. Character, strength, kindness, passion, grit. His gentle eyes belie a fierce resolve.

Maguire does this so well I cannot separate him from the character. In the newer movie, The Amazing Spiderman, I like the guy but keep thinking, “Well, that’s great. I wonder when the real Peter Parker is getting back.” Sorry. I know it’s different… and he’s good, too…and I have to admit – handsomer –blah blah blah.

Love that Tobey Maguire!

 

My Best Friend Harry

Harry is so happy until he lets revenge eat at him and take him over. While he forgets his father’s death and Spiderman he is able to be carefree and enjoy life. Then, he remembers. Shakespeare's Hamlet is all over this. The mirror, the ghost of his father, the revenge, the exact words, “Remember me.” Fighting with Laertes – I mean Peter – I mean his brother – ahhh it’s like a dream of Hamlet meets superheroes in New York! Something is rrrrotten in the state of Denmark!

James Franco is a wonderful tortured villain. I see shades of heroic Tristan and Isolde and echoes of the insecure James Dean. I am now on a quest to see more of his movies. This is unlikely to ever happen, but one never knows. I may break my leg and have to spend a month on the couch, which would be lovely.

The Symbiote

The concept of Venom is fascinating. Giving life and a black, twisted, tarry form to the evil that lurks in every heart is something we all understand. I know how horrible I can be if I let myself go, a perfect glint-eyed monster of selfishness. Angry.

     Giving vent to evil grants us power, for a moment, when always we feel powerless in this ugly world. Life hurts and hurts and hurts some more, and when we run out of ways to shut it out, we feel the anger, and it pushes feeling and power through our veins. A kind of inverted hope, a black hole that vacuums our soul and causes us to hurt everyone we can. Venom’s razor-toothed roar is frightening and seductive at the same time.

Le Finale

Watching Spiderman takes me away for a bit and yet leaves me with food for thought. Not to tread on the toes of the Cool People and overthink it (heavens!). There is a great deal of commentary on humanity that can be made. This is what makes Spidey 1, 2 and 3 my favorite type of movie. I watch, I enjoy, I gasp, laugh, and smile, and I think. Watching movies is not a waste of time at all; it moves me forward actually, depending. Helps me process life, and throws a little light on things sometimes. When I recognize a feeling or conflict a character is going through it helps me feel more alive. Some days the rest of my life is a lie and the movie is the only truth.

*          *          *

So guess which one is my favorite.

Yep, Spiderman 2. It is smarter, more tightly woven, and looks deeper at the love story…and I am after all, a girl.

 

 

 

 

Watching Spiderman

Watching Spiderman  

Spidey #2

By Way of Introduction….

Watching the mild mannered Peter Parker reminds me of a recent little incident. Yesterday, in the mall, I was not feeling so well. Sick actually, fever, pain, you-name-it. I wasn’t my usual mild-mannered self. The cashier at Payless, when shoes had finally been decided on, was all set to give me her little spiel about a card, and whats my phone number, and would I have some spray or polish or whatever, and I was done. I said, “I just want the shoes, thanks, nothing else. No numbers, cards, just shoes and I’ll be off.” Ha ha. It felt amazing and completely foreign to be such a jerk, and survive.  Don’t worry it will not become a habit. And that lady had a thick skin, a real “ball-breaker” type – she could handle it.

So on to the movie. Obvious to say, in Marvel Comic story lines the villains are the result of man’s dreams and hard work gone 'horribly awry'. What was meant for good, destroys. The mechanical arms on Dr. Octopus writhe like snakes, infecting his mind with thoughts of evil. They make small rattle-like noises, planting half-truths in his mind until he is completely altered.  Where does evil come from in these movies? Are people either good or evil? Or is everyone a mixture of both? What, Stan Lee, what? The mind is going in circles, my good man. Help me out here.

CHARACTERS

I do like Kirsten Dunst, she is truly lovely and luminous and talented. The camera loves her bright eyes and cheekbones. But is it just me, or does she always look like she’s about to fall asleep…. Her hair toned it down a notch in this movie, and for that we are all thankful.

Kirsten D is a believable actress here in incredibly sensitive scenes. Such pain in her face when she is in the arms of her fiancé, while watching Spiderman sitting there alone!  Love and pain, two twins separated at birth. I love you. I can't be with you. Timeless, I suppose, but who can say there is any way out of this for either of them? She leans on the man she's planning to marry, telling him she's thankful he is there for her. She takes in Peter Parker with starving eyes and soul, telling him her heart is on fire.  

Tobey Maguire is super. Such a restrained, insightful performance! Plus he has the spider crouch thing down-pat. Which I'm sure he took very seriously and spent hours perfecting in front of mirrors in his hotel. But why the heck doesn’t he use his web to keep those brooms from falling out of the closet, and why oh why doesn’t he do something, anything, to that nasty gum-smacking diva that won’t pay for the pizzas?!? Really though, his nuances are subtle and perfect. Your eye follows him and then follows his on screen, taking in everything through the character's perspective.

The newspaper editor is a favorite. Can't recall his name - how tellingly unprofessional of me. He is a beautiful creation, like he stepped out of the comic itself or perhaps from the set of 12 Angry Men. 

And the pizza guy. Joes Pizza, with the 29 minute guarantee. He is quite the piece of acting work. “GoOoOO!!”

James Franco I’m always a little bit in love with. I don’t think I would be in real life, however. In movies, I’m always in love with him, a little.

 

Short Inner Monologue

[Mm-K. What always irritates me about these wonderful movies is this: Who cleans up the carnage? Whole sky scrapers implode. Glasses of whiskey are tossed recklessly on tile floors. (Gasp!) Vehicles overturned, burned out buildings, and the hero (and pretty much everyone else) gets to leave and never deal with it. Somewhere, at any given moment, a hard-working janitor is sweeping up yet another smashed whiskey glass. Remember that, Oh Audience, and face this reality!! 'Nuf said. Or not nearly enough said.]

Themes, Glorious THEMES!!!!!

Over-responsibility.”I’m responsible for what happened to Uncle Ben”.  

 

Peter has to be everywhere. He is exhausted, he’s doing too much. Over-responsibility leads to damaged expectations, and inability to do anything well. He loses his perfect vision, his webs don’t work. Nothing works with such a heavy burden weighing down. Believe me; this I know well. Leading a double life saps his strength; he can’t explain what is happening to him. He keeps climbing the walls and falling.

Feeling Trapped. “I have a choice??” He asks incredulously. He loses himself trying to be everything to everyone. Peter is trapped between impossible choices. Anytime he chooses, he has to drop something else. The Spiderman character feels very inspired by Hamlet, actually.  It’s a very tightly woven story. This choosing is illustrated in Spidey #1 when Green Goblin makes him decide to save the cable car full of children or Mary Jane. In the second, he feels freer when he starts telling the truth.

Misunderstood. He loves her, he can’t say. He knows things, he can’t say. He tries to save, they say he harms. “Peter Parker! Brilliant, but lazy", smirks Dr. Octavius. Yeah right! Lazy my sweet nothing.! He's running circles around the entire city of New York. So just shut your big yapper!  

Secrets.  “If you keep something as complicated as love stored up inside, it’ll make you sick.” (Octavius)  He can’t be honest in any of his relationships, or keep up with them even, which creates distance in all of them. The side presence of the play “The Importance of Being Earnest” is a brilliant parallel to the story. In case you haven’t seen it, mainly it is about people being who they are not. I saw it in Edinburgh, when I was a daft thing of 13, and I remember that.

Bottled feelings. Peter is feeling unbelievable stress at trying to keep how he feels at bay, about everything. Harry too, all bottled up with anger, ambition, and deep-rooted insecurity. MJ, Aunt May, trying to keep their own counsel and ponder these things in their hearts, but spilling over here and there like too-full drinks.

He 'just misses' all the time. The pizza order. The drinks and h’orderves at the high society party. The picture he needs for the paper. Stopping the thief who gets his uncle. And finally, MJ. He just decides he must be Spiderman and give her up, no matter the pain and loss, says he doesn’t love her at all…and she is taken anyway by Doc Oc. @_* AAhhhhh the frustration!! I can’t even spell! I had to redo every word in the last sentence about 8 times!!!!!!!!

 

It’s an unexpectedly funny movie. The Oriental woman busking, violin in hand, plunking out her Spiderman song.   Also the man in the elevator who thinks Spidey is a guy dressed up in a suit. "That looks uncomfortable." “It rides up in the crotch a little too.” Aunt May kicks the banker by mistake, instead of Peter. She’s got on a swift pair of heels, smirk.  He touches the car and sets off the alarm. Or at the end, when MJ sees him and he’s holding up the wall over her: 

 “Hi.”

“Hi…”

 “This is really heavy”. 

Best Lines.   ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“T.S. Eliot is more complicated than advanced Science.”  

“Your soul disappears. Nothing is as bad as uncertainty. Maybe you’re not supposed to be climbing those walls.”

“’Planning’ is not a major at this university” Dr. Connors

“Sometimes to do what’s right, we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams.” (Yeah. I’ve tried, I’ve tried to do that. It feels like a slow death, is all.)

Kindness saves him. The most beautiful moment is when the kids hand him back his mask on the train. Kindness is so beautiful. It has given me bits of hope so many times. Don't -- just -- you did. Huh. (tissue break)

More than anything, this movie just makes me want to try a New York hot dog. Yumm.

Getting Off Of Facebook

Guess what's blue and white and read all over and addicting?

You got it. Facebook.

I'm on my second day (GASP!!) of not having FB and surviving. I've known for a while I needed to break free from it, like anything else that's addicting and therefore takes up time and wayyy too much brain energy.
First I downloaded all my pictures and files to my computer. They have that option, and it's pretty easy to do.
Next, I called my psychiatrist and said I would be in soon, and please have the white jacket ready.
Then I deleted the app from my phone. Quite a shocking experience, not seeing that little icon in my favorites! Wah!!
Next, deactivate on the computer: Security, Click. Deactivate Facebook, Click.  Done.

Hey.....wait a cotton pickin' minute here....(where on earth do we get these sayings!! And when do they make sense!! But anyway!!)

"You just de-ACTIvated Facebook, CHEATER!! You didn't DELETE IT!! You're still ADDICTED! It's like hiding one pack of cigarettes just in case!! "

Yep. Well. It's true. I couldn't delete it completely.
In my defense, that wasn't the goal; I just need a break from it to do life differently, to play the piano more, to write more, and most importantly to

not be checking it every 5 minutes, or 2 hours, or first thing in the morning! Last thing at night!

See, I love my friends and I love being connected to the world. I'm an introvert with a split personality, and the other one is an extrovert, for sure.  Laughing, joking, partying,...yep I like that, with the right people of course. Commiserating with a friend looking for a lost dog, or having a rough day; I like that too. Sharing a meaningful quote or story, or a hilarious Chris Farley video...that makes my day! Personal messages about life from caring friends are awesome, and also big Day-Makers.

So why get off of Facebook, with all these perks?!?
Basically 'cuz it was starting to feel like an I.V., a lifeline. Bored, restless -- check Facebook. Lonely, tired --check Facebook. Need instant gratification -- look at all the likes on my recent post.
Basically because I want to try living without it for awhile. I need to get myself back. Or try to anyway. You know what's terrible? When I'm talking to someone, even one of my KIDS, and the phone beeps, I'll grab the phone and ignore the person, because my virtual life is more important than my Real Life .  And that, my friends, is the worst thing ever. So die, Facebook addiction, DIE!!!!! 
Ouch, it feels a bit like I'm stabbing myself.

Now that I don't have Facebook I can't post my blog there, so only a few will read this, but if you do, maybe you can pass it along to someone else who needs a break from Facebook.

After all, it only exists because we, the people, are on there. 0_o  
The choice still belongs to us.

I'm going to go read a book. Or maybe play some Christmas music on the piano. Possibly do some laundry....ooohh that's no fun. At any rate, something fulfilling and life-giving, before I tackle all the chores of the day. There are lessons to teach, dishes to wash, bathrooms to clean, clothes to fold, and piles of snow to shovel. And I may actually get it all done without checking what's up on Facebook!

Sigh....I confess I'm kinda lonely though.

Will update how it goes! ttfn!

(OOhh I should go read Winnie-the-Pooh, I love that book.)