A Change Would do You Good

Last week was Mother's Day, and I didn't have a blog post together. 

I thought Hey, it's my day, I'm going to enjoy being a mom and just relax. True, but also a helpful excuse, as the previous week I wrote about being a woman in the church, and honestly...with the feedback that was coming in daily, there was a lot to process. IS a lot to process.

Part 1 of the Woman in Church thing was really just a peeling back of the lid, and now I want to be careful in examining the contents. Is it a can of worms, or a bowl of cherries? I've got a lot of thoughts. So there will be a part 2 on being a woman in church, but not today.

Today I want to explore current events a little more. What is going on in our daily realities? Me, I do a lot of walking, I work, I have meetings. I make meals and do a pile of dishes (our dishwasher has been broken since January. Please start a Go Fund Me.) I plead with my son to do some school work. I have wonderful long talks with my daughter. I drink coffee in the afternoons and look at trucks for sale with my husband on his phone. I give disgusted looks to the cat, and everyone thinks I don't like the cat. Then I feel bad, and tell the family that blessed cat would surely be dead if I didn't give her food and water and look after her basic needs! Hmph.

How has Life Changed for you? 

Every week the government and thus the media have a different take, new conflicting data, a better mantra for what we Absolutely Must Do.
For those strong, independent, pioneering personalities, this is akin to a straight-up challenge. And thus we see a lot of hard questioning, protests, and even a few conspiracy theories. These are the people who shout "Have fun!" as you drive away.
They don't want to collect CERB because it comes from the bloody government (not to mention it is plunging our nation into 100 years of crippling debt).
We need these people, and I value their opinions. We need them to balance out the others.

On the other side, there are those who tend to trust institutions, want to follow the rules, and get pretty mad at those who do not. And for good reason, sometimes. These people tend toward being anxious, enjoy routine, and live carefully and thoughtfully. When you are driving away from their house, they say "Stay safe!"
They are perfectly fine with collecting CERB  because they need it, and deserve it for the hard work they had been doing. Besides, it's kind of nice to stay home.

There are quite a few of us in the middle who are waffling between hard eye rolls and holding our heads in our hands, or twiddling our thumbs and banging our heads against the wall.

This hasn't been fun for anybody.
And if it has been fun for you, well, it's time to take a good hard look at your life. Perhaps a change would do you, or me, some good.

Pros and Cons

The pros and cons of our present situation have come up frequently in conversations over the last few weeks. On the one hand, a friend may say they are not working and feeling stress about their job, but on the other hand they are happy to be spending so much time with their kids. 

On one hand, it would be really nice to get away for the weekend, but on the other hand, we are saving on gas and giving the vehicle a break, maybe getting some yard work done. 

There are pros to not getting dressed up every day, spending evenings with family, or having time to read. (I read an actual book for fun yesterday, and it has been at least several months, if not a year, since that happened! I even stayed up unhealthily late so I could finish the whole thing, and felt almost giddy in my insurrection!)

Some are getting more exercise than ever, or have learned a new hobby, or just feel more connected to their loved ones. 

On the other hand, there is nothing positive about losing the ability to pay your mortgage, spending a milestone birthday at home without a celebration, or worrying about an elderly parent living alone. 

Nothing fun about selling your truck because there is no money for payments, or watching your restaurant inventory slowly spoil at the same time as your life's dream is dying. Or having severe anxiety and being afraid to go anywhere or do anything because covid is out there, lurking. 

There will be many, many stories that come out of this time. 

Stories that are being written right now in the hearts and minds of people all over the world. 

Love stories that never would have happened. 

Reconciliations between husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, long lost friends. Fathers and mothers who may often be away are getting to know their children, and that is beautiful and so needed. 

New discoveries made, creative ideas explored. 

And sadly, there is abuse and neglect going on as children are trapped in destructive homes, or people are stuck behind doors with a cruel, narcissistic partner, someone who just loves this new level of control. I am sincerely worried about these situations. I pray that if anyone is living this, they will get the help they need. Reach out; don't take one more day of abuse. 

Stories of struggle, of loss, of need, and of hope are being lived out as you read this. 

What is yours?

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom. 

I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.  

Moreover, no one knows when their hour will come: As fish are caught in a cruel net, or birds are taken in a snare, so people are trapped by evil times that fall unexpectedly upon them. 

Ecclesiastes 9:10-12

Should we go back to the way it was?

I am imagining a scene, in which a tired teacher gets ready for school in August. He or she has been thinking of retiring for years, but it was never the right time. Have the last months created a desire to go back into the classroom as soon as possible, to treasure the smiles, to cherish the little teachable moments, the stickers, the schedules, even recess supervision? Or does the teacher suddenly feel too weary to do it all again?

I imagine a tableau in a kitchen, where a father is leaving early again for work. It has been 5 months since he performed this morning ritual, coffee in hand, briefcase, keys. The lonely commute, the family life all but lived when he arrives back late after the sun's already set. He pauses, opens the door of his little son's bedroom, and thinks of all the hours they spent - reading stories, wrestling, his boy following him closely around the yard, asking all the questions he hadn't had a chance to ask before. He is thoughtful. Somehow, he can't rejoice, though he knows he must go. Will they ever be so close again? He will fight for it. 

I'm thinking of a couple who never took that trip, because there was always something. And now they are in their twilight years, feeling it all the more as the fear of the pandemic robs them of joy and strength. They couldn't go now if they wanted to. And then one day, the planes are flying again. They turn to each other and book the trip, laughing and clapping their hands. It wasn't too late, thank God, it wasn't too late to go. 

I see an elderly woman in a care home. She sits in her green rocker, a magazine idle in her aged hands. The pandemic is over now, but she is used to being alone. No one has come to visit for over two years, or is it three? She can't be sure. But they are coming today. All of them! Even the great-grandchildren. And her daughter said, last time through a catch in her voice on the phone, that she should schedule it in, because they would be all taking turns every Sunday. She smiles and it lights up the corners of her faded blue eyes. 

How will lives be changed? 

I think in some ways we will go back to normal faster than anyone predicted possible. In other ways, life will be changed forever. Some things will change, but we won't realize it until later...maybe even years from now. 

Someone will ask, so how did you two meet? 

And they will turn to each other, and laugh, and say "It was the pandemic of 2020. We were both stuck in an airport, trying to get home. And we ended up talking, I gave her my number, and now here we are."

Someone else might ask, so how did you become a musician? 

"Remember the pandemic of 2020? I lost my furnace cleaning business, and ended up sitting at home with my guitar for weeks on end. That was quite a time. Now, I've got a band and here we are!"

"Wow, that's a story! Um, please, could you sign my album cover?"

Another may query, so why are you going back to school?

"Well, it was the 2020 pandemic. I looked around at my life, realized I truly hated what I was doing, and resolved to start again. I finally had the time to think and take a hard look at reality. So here I am, going for my Masters, at long last."

I could go on endlessly, as all kinds of situations and perspectives come to mind. As many as there are humans alive on earth. 

Whether the tale is a bad one or a good one, we are all living in it. I hope yours is turning out alright. Mine might be little frayed, a little at the end of the proverbial rope, but I am trying to redeem the time. 

Who, I wonder, will tell our stories? Perhaps we all should be writing things down.